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A round peg in a world of square holes...

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Old post, but my brand of humor

A friend sent this link, "8 Kids Movies That Lied to Us," to me, and I'm hooked. I love Michael Swaim's brand of humor. It's right up my alley — mordant, possibly probably offensive, definitely politically incorrect, and most likely NSFW (Not Safe For Work).

Some excerpts:

Production companies have made millions giving children exactly what they want: whether it's to be an adult, get rich, or meet David Bowie, indulging childhood fantasies is a hallmark of family films.

Imagine the trauma those same children undergo when they're forced to realize that being an adult sucks, getting rich entails smuggling drugs in your ass, and meeting David Bowie entails smuggling drugs in your ass. Well, as children scarred by the false expectations set up in films, we say no more! Below, eight movies that are begging to be unmasked for the dangerously optimistic propaganda they really are.

In the movie "Big," Tom Hanks gets paid to tell a toy manufacturer which toys kids will like. You know what that's called? Market research. You know how much you get paid to do that in real life? A handful of Cheetohs and a Styrofoam cup of Sierra Mist.

In reality, most adults make a living by selling off little pieces of their dignity to an asshole in a tie until they finally go home one night and "forget" to turn the car exhaust off in the garage.

[Al]l the muppet friends... we fell in love with are nothing more than inanimate heaps of laundry being wiggled around by a middle-aged guy who makes a living putting his hands up fake asses.

Enjoy the rest!


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