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A round peg in a world of square holes...

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Well, what do you know? I'm not alone in this. Part II



The transcript doesn't do justice to the rant. The clip is hilarious! Someone obviously took the time to deliver it perfectly  :-D




PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT

People who tell you about their cell phone plans are really pissing me off!

You know? When they whip out their phones and start gabbing? As soon as they hang up, they start telling you all about how great their fucking cell phone plan is.

NO ONE CARES!

But wait! I get free nights! Free weekends! Free in-plan calling! Free family plans! Free text messages! A-N-D free picture messages! Well then, if all these shit is free, why are you paying US$70 a month for it?

You know, I'm personally sick and tired of the idiotic commercials for ringtones. Every fucking jack off half-musician is turning their already vile music into fucking ringtones. Your music sucks enough as it is. Turning it into an 8-bit audio file that sounds like it came from a video game system from the 1980s is not going to enhance the quality of it.

And that's another thing — I miss the good old fashion phone ring: R-I-N-G! What the fuck happened to this? Now all you get is some poor quality rendition of Mozart's Requiem blasting out of some kid's cell phone.

YES, Mozart would be proud to know that some of his greatest works are now so unappreciated that they are used merely as a ringtone to let people know that someone is on the other line. Wonderful!

You know what? If I made phony ringtones, it would sound like this:

HEY! FOLLOW THE SOUND OF MY VOICE AND KILL WHOEVER IS HOLDING THE PHONE!

I bet the owner of the phone won't let it go past the first ring.

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