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A round peg in a world of square holes...

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

9 (against the barbarians)

On a lazy Sunday, we celebrated Estella's birthday at Cafe Le Caire.

Don't ask me how the food was as I didn't have any (I was too spaced out from sleep deprivation), but one thing's for sure — with waiters that snap at you; thrust their trays in your face, expecting you to pass along the silverware; sigh with frustration (audiably) when asked a question — their service is a close runner-up to the hospitality at Abu Ghraib.

The company though, was first-rate  :-D

Here's one for Poblem Engrish:  "Lamb Carcass," a delectable entrée in the menu. Truth or Dare?

Next, we got to contest what of this offer means with our two charming waiters — both, who mangled the English language with such violence that the mechanized efficiency of the food processor in the kitchen, downstairs, pales in comparison. E.g. (potato) wedges, were pronounced as "widgets." Now, I know India is going high-tech, but this is ridiculous.

Their interpretation:  OCBC credit card users get to choose either the complimentary dessert or a high tea voucher for two (the bill was more than $100).

Our interpretation:  we get both.


"Wear - jeers."

Not "wee - jits" or "wee - zeds."


Not "complementary."

When you are done with pronunciation and adjectives, then — and only then — do we move on to reading comprehension, double-confirm?

Deciding that one experience with our 2 charm school graduates from Abu Ghraib was sufficient for our combined nine lifetimes, we opted for the dessert:  mango pudding. We were not disappointed.

Just as how this "authentic" middle-eastern restaurant had waiters from India, Singaporean Malay cooks, and reservations that disappear, the mango pudding was really... corn pudding.

Ed wasn't impressed by the corn... pudding. Nevertheless, like the Texas Death Row, executions must go on:

Cogito, ergo sum.
Sum, ergo edo.
Cogito sumere potum alterum.

After valiantly resisting the urge to toss our friendly, faux Middle-Eastern servers through the second floor windows (and thus edifying them with another word:  "gravity" — with a free demonstration thrown in), Inferno Ed mellows out on a backstreet.

Don't let the surroundings fool you, the friendly staff here (especially the ever attentive Nepalese server) makes this place seem like the Fullerton. A fitting comparison for Cafe Le Caire would be Whitley Detention Center — with equivalent security features too (we could have easily absconded), but that's a tale for another day.


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