Practice, practice, practice

The kind of repartee which goes on in one of my favorite forums:


Ultimate chick bait. A couple shots of our new puppy. This little guy is like pheromones. Women cross the street just to pet him. - DWPC

- I used to borrow a neighbor's Border Collie to troll for gals when I lived in santa Monica in the 90s. As you said, it was a "chick magnet." Really a win-win situation for all involved. My neighbor got his dog exercised and I got laid. - darkmoebius

- - Did you get up with fleas? - tinear

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Snow shoeing Gold Creek Snow Park. Check out the pictures. - R B

- You best bundle up and keep that beak warm. BWAK! - YECH

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Fat guys never get the girls. - John EH

- If you get girls that means they're dead. - YECH

- - Better never run around Asia with me then... I've laid more pipe than Roto Fucking Rooter. - John EH

- - - Since you're fluent in Japanese, I'm sure you can say by now, "But I can always get an erection. I don't understand," in several different Asian languages. - mr grits

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Men who do housework may get more sex. - Crimson

- Another lie perpetrated by women. - Mike B.

- - More sex? My god, I'm getting too much already! - Mike K

- - - Self-abuse is not in that category. - mr grits

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Nanotechnology is our future! - priya

- You go on telling the ladies that, but they'll keep laughing. - YECH

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Mills awarded $48.6M from McCartney. Paul vows to never go down on one knee again. - gme109

- - Yeah, poor Paul couldn't afford a lawyer back in 2002 when he married her. - Ivan303

- - - I doubt that was a reason. More like he was a sucker. - gme109

- - - - Brainwashed by the very same love songs that made him rich. - subdud

- - - - He was thinking with the wrong head. - Jack Seaton

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Screw global warming! Why waste the money? We will evolve and adapt to the new climate in no time. - John EH

- - Eh, ever heard of dinosaurs? - cut-throat

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Wow! lightning just flashed right in front of me. - LWR

- I once saw thunder explode right in front of me but I'm not sure it wasn't some kind of magic. - sjb

- - Scary. Did you get any "I'm here to protect you" sex? - Jack Seaton

- - - The best "I'm here to protect you" sex I had was after the '89 earthquake. - Jazz Inmate

- - - - You must have been squealing like a pig when he refused to untie you. - jaiva

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It's good to hone your one-liners — you never know when you have to tear a rude customer service representative; that snooty waiter; the balding, overweight Caucasian tourist / expatriate with a colonial mentality; his flavor of the month SPG, languishing with a terminal case of the Pinkerton syndrome; or, the pretentious usher (who mangles the name of every play, English or otherwise) on a power trip; a new one.