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A round peg in a world of square holes...

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

La buena teta, en la mano te quepa. Y si la mano no cubre, no es teta, que es ubre.



(Loosely translated: "It's a good tit, if in your hand it will fit. And if in hand doesn't fit, then it's udder, not tit.")

       I'm probably going to catch flak for this post, but then again, that has never been known to stop me, so here goes.

       [S]ince the fashion industry is run by a bunch of homosexual men, they want all the women to look like thin young men to cater to THEIR personal tastes.

       Unfortunately, this preference has become part of popular culture, since young women idolise the catwalk and clothes models, and the clear message it sends is, "BE THIN OR ELSE YOU ARE UGLY"
... even at the expense of your health and your natural beauty. 'Coz women are supposed to have boobs and a bum, and this doesn't really suit the personal preferences of the fashion world.
       (Jus P)

       A movie came out a while ago, "Real Women Have Curves". Even if you've never seen it, the title basically says it all. But where does that leave the skinny girls? They are somehow lesser women, and thereby lesser people, simply because they were not given fuller figures, for better or for worse. You always hear men in the media discussing the fact that they prefer women who have more "meat" (for lack of a better term). This, of course, is a matter of personal opinion, but no one ever quotes a man saying that he prefers a skinny woman; that might be deemed offensive.

       There's a war on thin women going on, and it's entirely unfair. It's easy for people to make fun of these girls, calling them anorexic, skin and bones, and all the rest of it. No one calls bigger women fat anymore, because that's offensive. And it is -- but so are those other terms. Skinny girls are dehumanized in our culture; they aren't even considered to have feelings, apparently. (Most) thin girls can't help their figure any more than (most) larger girls can help theirs. It's really disgraceful that only large women get to be happy with their bodies; skinny women have to gain weight if they want to be normal.

       In ads and promos for "real beauty" and the like, one will find that it's only more curvy women who are represented in this: you can't see the ribcage of a single one. Look if you disbelieve me, it's sadly true.

       In a world of self esteem uber alis, one would think that everyone would get equal treatment in the boosting of it. Not so, apparently. It's not rare at all to hear someone telling a thin girl, "I can see your ribs, that's disgusting! Gain some weight!" No one EVER says, "Hey, your fat rolls are pretty nasty, you should go on a diet!" Neither of those things are kind or funny. And yet, people seem to think that the former is both those things.
       (quince girl)

       It seems that way because guys, believe it or not, are insecure when it comes to "bigger" women.It seems that way because guys, believe it or not, are insecure when it comes to "bigger" women.
       (Roxxi)


       On behalf of the skinnies in this world, here's a retaliatory strike against the fatties:

No, Roxxi, guys do not want to deal with "bigger" women not because they are insecure. They do not want to deal with "bigger" women because they do not want to deal with the problems that come along with "bigger" women (such as, for example, the prevalence of monkey butt). You want to talk to me about insecurity versus self-confidence? Go engage in a solo night dive where, using a compass, you exit one bay, go against the current, and enter another, all in the open South China Sea. Do that. Come back. Go solo caving. Come back. Go solo night mountain biking through mountain lion territory. Come back, then we will talk about insecurity versus self-confidence.

       A model suffering from anorexia dies. That's tragic, yes, but what proportion of the populace are anorexic? Yes, anorexia and bulimia are serious eating disorders, and tragically, people do die from it every year. But their numbers are miniscule compared to the hordes of people dying from obesity-related diseases. Where are the attacks on the — for the lack of a better word — fatties? We coin euphemisms like, "a little meat on the bones," and "plus-sized," for the 1.3 billion people clearly indulging in the sins of gluttony and sloth, while zooming in on the few million (at best) who starve themselves or eat too little. Why the selective fixation? Why the — dare I say? — psychological projection?

       30 percent of American adults 20 years of age or older — more than 60 million people — are obese. According to the World Health Organization, more than 1 billion people in the world are overweight. At least 300 million are considered clinically obese. (Source)

       The number of obese people in the world outnumber those who are starving:

While 800 million still go to bed hungry every night, another 1.3 billion have a body mass index that makes them either overweight or obese, says Barry Popkin, of the Department of Nutrition and Economics at the University of North Carolina.

That's unconscionable; that there are people stuffing themselves silly while others starve or are stunted from malnutrition.

       For an equivalent number of miles travelled, an obese family or driver consumes more gas than a skinny family or driver. Where is the outrage?

       Fat people drive up airfares for the rest of us:

The Independent Financial Review reported today that fat travellers are costing airlines millions of dollars in extra fuel bills. [ . . . ] A survey of passengers in New Zealand had shown that the average passenger weight had gone from 89 kilograms to 93 kilograms — adding an extra 1.564 tonnes to a full Boeing 747.

       If you are dating a fat chick, you should have her double up on her serving of birth control pills.

       If birth control measures fail, hang on, there's more bad news in for you: Obesity Increases Risks in Pregnancy.

       Why the uproar over a handful of anorexic models? Compare that with the percentage of obese people — which is increasing every year. Check out what Dr. Westby Fisher, a cardiologist, has to say:

I just returned from southern Illinois after attending my wife's 30th high school reunion. We stayed a night at the Drury Inn in Springfield, IL. You know, one of those places with the free breakfast buffet available in the morning. The accommodations were average, but the people seemed to come for the free breakfast included in the room rate. Certainly if you have a bunch of kids, this seems like a good idea.

So the next morning we came downstairs for breakfast. It was remarkable how many people there were obese. Not just a little overweight. I mean obese. It was striking. And the place was packed to capacity. Tons of people (I mean that literally) having their breakfasts of biscuits and gravy, sweet rolls, cereal, french toast, orange juice, coffee, eggs and sausage, before heading out for the day. I wondered if others noticed the same phenomenon. Now I'm no anorexic, but for me to be one of the skinniest guys there was striking — the average body mass index there seemed to exceed the national deficit.

And after returning home, I noticed this article in USA Today about if doctors should tell kids they're "obese." In the interest of political correctness it seems doctors are being encouraged to avoid telling kids they're "obese." Instead, I guess they want is to use the less offensive words "a bit overweight."

Now, having kids of my own, I can certainly sympathize with those who want to be judicious in their criticism of a child's weight, but there's one thing I am certain: kids detect B.S. better than anybody.

       In Sun and Steel, Yukio Mishima wrote that obesity is a sign of spiritual sloth. Check out the Obesity Map of USA, created by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), below:


Click the image for more information.

During the past 20 years there has been a dramatic increase in obesity in the United States. In 1985 only a few states were participating in the CDC's Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System (BRFSS) and providing obesity data. In 1991, four states had obesity prevalence rates of 15–19 percent and no states had rates at or above 20 percent.

In 1995, obesity prevalence in each of the 50 states was less than 20 percent. In 2000, 28 states had obesity prevalence rates less than 20 percent.

In 2005, only 4 states had obesity prevalence rates less than 20 percent, while 17 states had prevalence rates equal to or greater than 25 percent, with 3 of those having prevalences equal to or greater than 30 percent (Louisiana, Mississippi, and West Virginia).

       Some fat people protest that the Body Mass Index (BMI) measurement is inaccurate as one can be an athlete and still have a high BMI. True, bodybuilders, weight lifters and sprinters may have high BMIs, but take a look at an obese individual and compare his or her body shape and lifestyle with a bodybuilder's. What is the difference? While latter's is sculpted muscle, the former contains enough oil reserves to last humanity through the next millennia. Another clue, if you spend more time shoveling food into your mouth than lifting weights, you do not qualify under the exception-to-the-BMI-rule that petains to bodybuilders. Stop chewing for a moment. Think. Capish?

       More data: a recent survey revealed that almost a third of French people were overweight and 12.4 per cent were obese, while around 5 per cent were underweight.

       And what the hell is "plus-sized"?

       I don't hear about skinny women creating the euphemism, "minus-sized." If you are fat, you are fat. If I want to watch curves, I will attend a baseball game featuring a star pitcher. If you require talcum powder or moisturizer to alleviate chaffing merely from walking waddling around, those are not curves, that's blubber.

       Napoleon Dynamite's favorite animal, the liger, is "plus-sized."
You are not "plus-sized."

       Also, all these protests about how "I'm big-boned," is bullshit. Anyone remember the line from South Park?

"You are not big-boned! Dinosaurs and Woolly Mammoths are big-boned! STOP EATING!"

       I also wish to point out that there are a significant number of men out there who are not so — how shall I put it? — partial to large mammaries as many women suppose us, men, to be. I am not attracted to large breasts not because I am a closet homosexual or have a fascination towards young boys. Personally, if I have a fixation towards large breasts, I will work in a dairy farm. I don't. So, lay off the slim and lithe, fatties. Go chew on your cud, Daisy. Better yet, stop eating so much and go trot a couple of laps around the pasture.

       Here's a "plus-sized" individual, Mary Ray, who claims to be fit:

       "My husband, Tom, and I go for long hikes in the woods, and some of those hikes have been challenging for me–not too challenging, but just enough. Two years ago we visited Yosemite National Park, and we hiked part-way up to the top of Vernal Fall. It was a demanding hike, and pretty much every body was huffing and puffing. We made it up to the bridge that’s just shy of halfway to the top."

       Well, I did some research on Vernal Fall. Vernal Fall is a THREE MILE HIKE! Which means fatty Mary and her fat husband Tom hiked a whole ONE AND A HALF MILES before they were "huffing and puffing." Oh yes Mary... you are really fit.
       (Source)


       A nice burlesque here:

       Fat people projected their glandular angst at a fitness center in San Fransisco earlier this week after reading a billboard with a picture of an alien saying, "When they come, they will eat the fat ones first." Twenty five people took it personally and got off their frosting stained couches to take a bus down to the fitness center and picket. They held up pro-fat person signs and chanted "Eat me!" until all the talk about eating made them hungry and they left for ice cream.
       One of the angry overweighters was Maralyn Wann, nearly famous author of the book, "Fat! So?" who threatened on public radio to sit on anyone who stereotyped fat people. [ . . . ]
       The nonremorseful manager of the fitness center said, "Oh no. It looks like we lost the tubbies' business. Guess no one's going to have a heart attack on the Stair Master this week." He then smacked an overweight protestor in the head and ran. He repeated this until the fat guy passed out from exhaustion.




Tell me what you do with the food you eat, and I'll tell you what you are. Some turn their food into fat and manure, some into work and good humor, and others, I'm told, into God.  (Zorba the Greek, Nikos Kazantzakis)


       Now, I am not saying that "skinny-flabby" individuals such as...



...Paris Hilton are models of health (though she might give more than a few guys nose bleeds). But there are people who are skinny, fit, and healthy.





5 feet 5 inches (165 cm). 113 lb. (51 kg).





The gorgeous Shalane Flanagan, 25.





Shalane with her killer abs.





Running to a new record.





Another shot of the endurance athlete.

On January 27, at the 2007 Reebok Boston Indoor Games, Shalane Flanagan set a new American record of running 3000 meters (1.875 miles) in 8 minutes 33.25 seconds. Gee, where are the "fit and healthy" plus-sized women fatties? Can they even run waddle 3000 meters under 16 minutes?


       Check out Cate Blanchett at the 2007 Oscars. She doesn't have any love handles or huge mammaries. Yet, can anyone deny her femininity?










"But, but, they're both so petite! I'm tall and broad!"
All right...



Meet Maria Yuryevna Sharapova. 6 feet 2 inches (188 cm). 130 lb. (59 kg).





Looking very good in a bikini.


"But, but, I have old injuries and/or illness!"
Oo...kay...



Meet Niki Gudex, 29.





In 1997, Niki broke her back while practicing back flips on a snowboard in Sweden. After that, she switched from professional snowboarding to mountain biking.





Within a few years, Niki ranked Number One in the Australian National Cross Country (XC) Mountain Biking Championships. In 2003, she became the Australian National Series Cross Country (XC) Champion.





And Number Two in the Australian Downhill (DH) Mountain Biking Championships.





In 2001, Niki was the Australian National Series Downhill (DH) Champion.





The stunning Niki Gudex.


       As for the plus-sized fatties...



Anyone want to take a guess how many tons of lead diving weights are needed to achieve neutral buoyancy here? Expect sea levels to rise worldwide.





Passenger at Heathrow Airport.


Nota bene: Lard-asses unhappy with this post are welcome to attempt to sit on me — "You know, stereotypes like fat people being able to cause injury with their enormous mass. "— but be forewarned, you have to catch me first and I'm not going to stop for you if when you suffer a heart attack pursuing me. Neither am I trained in the sub-speciality of CPR for Fat People.



:-P

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is all so true! I work out six days a week only to have fat women tell me "its genetic"! Yeah...ok!?? Umm...or maybe i dont sit around and eat candy all day! Its hard to stay fit, but its not impossible to not be obese. There are no excuses.

October 12, 2009 12:48 PM  
Blogger -ben said...

Nods. I love beer, but if I ride less than 150 miles a week, I keep my beers under 2 cans per week. Anymore than that without extra riding / swimming / hiking would result in growing a potbelly. It's all a matter of self discipline and maintenance :-D

October 12, 2009 1:56 PM  
Blogger -ben said...

Another quote (just to stir):

No one wants to see curvy women. You've got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly (Karl Lagerfeld)


:-P

October 12, 2009 1:59 PM  

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