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A round peg in a world of square holes...

Monday, August 25, 2008

Why



Excerpt of "Shooting," by August Kleinzhaler.


The sun is high
and the blacktop soft so Hit
first from the corner
then from the key
because your hand is hot
and no one's watching

                  . . .

Hit
after dark and the stars shall
illumine
Put moves on the locals
They'll make you a god
Hit for the sake of it
For the music of hitting Hit
Because will ordained it
And you can deliver
Hit you the Hit Man
Hit 'cause Jim Dandy's
Got nothing on you Hit

                  . . .

Hit for the rhythm
that finds you and lifts you
The ball is a planet
and you make it go


Monday, August 18, 2008

Husbandry



The last sentence is a scream.


Singapore PM: Get married and have more kids

The Associated Press
August 17, 2008

Singapore Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong is calling on his country's youth to get married younger and have more children.

Lee says the city-state's fertility rate is only 1.29 children per woman, well below the 2.1 needed to replace the population.

Lee blames some men for having conservative attitudes and expecting wives to be obedient. Women must also value marriage more, and not just focus on a work career, Lee says in a televised speech.

Lee encourages parents to attempt to match their children with possible spouses.


(Source)






"Journalism"





What is wrong with this article?

Hint:  click the image for a larger view.

Give up?

Head on over to e pur si muove for the answer.

Engrish III




         Singaporeans coming together for a good clause.


Comments


Andrew wrote:

Clause? Haha... =P


Geraldine wrote:

What is clause? It says in the dictionary: single part in a treaty, law, or contract. i dont understand


Geraldine wrote:

Oh yes, i understand now.


Joachim wrote:

so should be a good cause? or clause?


Andrew wrote:

I give up on the both of you man... LOL.


Geraldine wrote:

It's Clause... it's in the dictionary.


Magdalene wrote:

cause. for a good cause.


Julia wrote:

aiyo... you all ar super leh ... can fight over the word clause n cause... its still english words mah......


(Source)






Saturday, August 16, 2008

USA is doomed




         (Source)


Bonus round:  Story #51.

I most certainly did not err




A hardcore (well, too hardcore) friend forwarded this to me.


Ahhhh... It speaks to my soul.
Random acts of violence.
'Tis like manna from heaven.

Just as I practice random acts of kindness — to deserving and undeserving — people, I engage in random acts of violence, often to nameless people; people, I sometimes don't even come into contact with. For example, a razor blade comes in handy around cafes. A quick slit under the mouthpiece spout on the disposable cup lids guarantees that someone would have coffee pouring down his shirt / her blouse. What a great way to start the day. Repeat after me, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Now Mr. / Ms. Coffee Drinker just learned a quote from Nietzsche. See how nice I am?

Somedays, on evening jaunts around the neighborhood in Santa Clara, I indulge in numerology, dropping nails on the driveways of houses whose street numbers I fancy (or don't). What better place than to get a flat in front of your own home? Free exercise! Nautilus 24-Hour Fitness should hire me.

Green food coloring from your friendly grocery store (Albertsons, Safeway, Ralphs, Whole Foods, Andronico's, Trader Joe's, Costco, Sam's Price Club, Ranch 99, Lion Supermart, et cetera) also provides tons of senseless carnage. Diluted with water, loaded into a SuperSoaker, and sprayed into puddles under cars, it guarantees a puzzled owner peering over his engine bay the next morning, or the presence of a tow truck for the more frantic ones. Result? Car owners learn to appreciate the work of automotive engineers, or enhance their relationship with their mechanics, leading to validation all round for everybody (credit card or otherwise).

Dropping important looking bolts and kicking them under cars also achieves the same effect. Combine both for greater odds of success.

Charged capacitors in men's urinals. Enough said. No need to bend over for Pfizer, you just saved a ton off Viagra. You are welcome.

Why do I do this? Well, it keeps things fun for those around me. They never know when they are going to be my next pet humanitarian project, or my next sex toy. It makes life interesting.

Don't you agree?





Friday, August 15, 2008

It was a dark and stormy night...



The results for the 2008 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest are out:


Winner

Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped "Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J."
         Garrison Spik
         Washington, D.C.


More  (Yes, deep down, it's turgidly torturous, acarpous prose that you seek).


Related post
2006 Results (and an explanation)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Cruising for a bruising





The long-simmering conflict erupted in earnest last week when Georgia launched a surprise operation to seize control of South Ossetia, killing Russian peacekeepers and hundreds of civilians. Russia has bombed targets inside Georgia and imposed a sea blockade, moving its Black Sea fleet along the coast to prevent supplies and goods from entering the country.
         (Source)






The Georgian soldier sprawled facedown in the ditch, so still that he looked dead at first glance. Skinny arms folded over his head, mouth in the dirt, combat boots braced against the earth. He was cowering at the side of the road in South Ossetia, frozen in place.

Russian jets, wheeling overhead, had just bombed the road, a hot explosion that sent chunks of dirt and broken pavement showering down. The soldier picked up his head. He looked young and underfed, fevered eyes gleaming in a pinched face.

"Please, no run," he said miserably in bad English. He nodded toward the ground at his side and raised his eyes heavenward. "It's Russian MIG."

The soldier was among the Georgian troops sent north up this pitted, twisting main road to bring the rebel province of South Ossetia to heel. But on Monday they were retreating back down it, overwhelmed by relentless Russian air assaults. Moscow's tanks and troops and fleets of warplanes had pushed them out of Tskhinvali, the South Ossetian capital, and threatened to keep coming up behind them, plunging deeper into Georgia.
         (Source)


Further reading whining:  "We helped in Iraq — now help us, beg Georgians."




QUESTION:  What happens when you play chicken with a bear?

ANSWER:  You become Ayam Penyet.







Maybe third time's the charm, eh?  Mr. Saakashvili?


Coming up next:  How jogging through lion / tiger / mountain lion / cougar territory with a beef medallion makes you a faster runner.

Perhaps.


Bonus round:  War Nerd: South Ossetia, the War of my Dreams.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Keeping... in the dark



Nota bene:  only Part I is posted.

* Because I like Part I best.

* Because Part II is bogged down by overtones of Thomas Stearns Eliot's indifferent typist.

* Because I am not going to post the entire 717-line poem here. Get the remaining 4 parts yourself.



Briggflatts  (1966)

I

Brag, sweet tenor bull,
descant on Rawthey’s madrigal,
each pebble its part
for the fells’ late spring.
Dance tiptoe, bull,
black against may.
Ridiculous and lovely
chase hurdling shadows
morning into noon.
May on the bull’s hide
and through the dale
furrows fill with may,
paving the slowworm’s way.

A mason times his mallet
to a lark’s twitter,
listening while the marble rests,
lays his rule
at a letter’s edge,
fingertips checking,
till the stone spells a name
naming none,
a man abolished.
Painful lark, labouring to rise!
The solemn mallet says:
In the grave’s slot
he lies. We rot.

Decay thrusts the blade,
wheat stands in excrement
trembling. Rawthey trembles.
Tongue stumbles, ears err
for fear of spring.
Rub the stone with sand,
wet sandstone rending
roughness away. Fingers
ache on the rubbing stone.
The mason says: Rocks
happen by chance.
No one here bolts the door,
love is so sore.

Stone smooth as skin,
cold as the dead they load
on a low lorry by night.
The moon sits on the fell
but it will rain.
Under sacks on the stone
two children lie,
hear the horse stale,
the mason whistle,
harness mutter to shaft,
felloe to axle squeak,
rut thud the rim,
crushed grit.

Stocking to stocking, jersey to jersey,
head to a hard arm
they kiss under the rain,
bruised by their marble bed.
In Garsdale, dawn;
at Hawes, tea from the can.
Rain stops, sacks
steam in the sun, they sit up.
Copper-wire moustache,
sea-reflecting eyes
and Baltic plainsong speech
declare: By such rocks
men killed Bloodaxe.

Fierce blood throbs in his tongue,
lean words.
Skulls cropped for steel caps
Huddle round Stainmore.
Their becks ring on limestone,
whisper to peat.
The clogged cart pushes the horse downhill.
In such soft air
they trudge and sing,
laying the tune frankly on the air.
All sounds fall still,
fellside bleat,
hide-and-seek peewit.

Her pulse their pace,
palm countering palm,
till a trench is filled,
stone white as cheese
jeers at the dale.
Knotty wood, hard to rive,
smoulders to ash;
smell of October apples.
The road again,
as a trot.
Wetter, warmed, they watch
the mason meditate
on name and date.

Rain rinses the road,
the bull streams and laments.
Sour rye porridge from the hob
with cream and black tea,
meat, crust and crumb.
Her parents in bed
the children dry their clothes.
He has untied the tape
of her striped flannel drawers
before the range. Naked
on the pricked rag mat
his fingers comb
thatch of his manhood’s home.

Gentle generous voices weave
over bare night
words to confirm and delight
till bird dawn.
Rainwater from the butt
she fetches and flannel
to wash him inch by inch,
kissing the pebbles.
Shining slowworm part of the marvel.
The mason stirs:
Words!
Pens are too light.
Take a chisel to write.

Every birth a crime,
every sentence life.
Wiped of mould and mites
would the ball run true?
No hope of going back.
Hounds falter and stray,
shame deflects the pen.
Love murdered neither bleeds nor stifles
but jogs the draftsman’s elbow.
What can he, changed, tell
her, changed, perhaps dead?
Delight dwindles. Blame
stays the same.

Brief words are hard to find,
shapes to carve and discard:
Bloodaxe, king of York,
king of Dublin, king of Orkney.
Take no notice of tears;
letter the stone to stand
over love laid aside lest
insufferable happiness impede
flight to Stainmore,
to trace
lark, mallet,
becks, flocks
and axe knocks.

Dung will not soil the slowworm’s
mosaic. Breathless lark
drops to nest in sodden trash;
Rawthey truculent, dingy.
Drudge at the mallet, the may is down,
fog on fells. Guilty of spring
and spring’s ending
amputated years ache after
the bull is beef, love a convenience.
It is easier to die than to remember.
Name and date
split in soft slate
a few months obliterate. 


(Basil Bunting)


* For the butchers.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Goodbye, Pinchy





At 30 months, she either died from old age (average life span 3 - 5 years); a lack of iodine in the water (I only add iodine during quarterly water changes. Some experts recommend a drop per 10 US gallons per week.); an infection brought on by a broken leg 2 months back; a bad molt, or, most likely, a combination of two or more possibilities.


Related posts
Pinchy takes over for a day
A new suit of armor for Pinchy
Pinchy growls... umm, grows
Pinchy
Lobster dinner
Rescue me

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Meat



This year, I have been consciously eating less and less meat; and, consequently, grains and vegetables have been taking an increasing proportion in my diet. I will be honest and admit that this did not come about as a result of animal rights convictions or any other quasi-religious beliefs, but one of simple pragmatism — meat sits like a brick in my gut and seems to take a comparatively longer amount of time to digest; and, as I not only upped the ante on the intensity of my exercises, but the frequency as well, this year, vegetables became "the better, preferred fuel."

The results were astonishing: contrary to warnings that I would suffer from malaise and malnutrition; suffer constipation (??? that's a good one), muscle atrophy, and even anemia, my energy levels went up; strength and endurance increased; I became healthier, and "muscle density" (visible as striations) improved.

What I lost was fat. 10.5 kg (23.1 lbs) of it, in 5 months.

That said, I still occasionally enjoy a good steak, burger, or lamb kebab with a pint (or two) on my "off" days. I am no tree-hugger (NSFW), enviro-weenie, veggie-fascist, PETA activist, ELF cell operative, or eco-terrorist.

When Mr Wang posted an article on going vegetarian, I didn't pay it much heed. No, not even when he followed up with another post. Now, after Mr. Kristof's piece, I am not so sure I'm comfortable with my occasional bouts of flesh-eating.

As if the slaughter — graphic to the point of obscenity — of the pig in Thomas Hardy's Jude the Obscure wasn't disturbing enough, op-ed columnist, Nicholas D. Kristof reflects on the ability of livestock to cultivate and maintain relationships:

                                                                -------

Then there were the geese, the most admirable creatures I’ve ever met. We raised Chinese white geese, a common breed, and they have distinctive personalities. They mate for life and adhere to family values that would shame most of those who dine on them.

While one of our geese was sitting on her eggs, her gander would go out foraging for food — and if he found some delicacy, he would rush back to give it to his mate. Sometimes I would offer males a dish of corn to fatten them up — but it was impossible, for they would take it all home to their true loves.

Once a month or so, we would slaughter the geese. When I was 10 years old, my job was to lock the geese in the barn and then rush and grab one. Then I would take it out and hold it by its wings on the chopping block while my Dad or someone else swung the ax.

The 150 geese knew that something dreadful was happening and would cower in a far corner of the barn, and run away in terror as I approached. Then I would grab one and carry it away as it screeched and struggled in my arms.

Very often, one goose would bravely step away from the panicked flock and walk tremulously toward me. It would be the mate of the one I had caught, male or female, and it would step right up to me, protesting pitifully. It would be frightened out of its wits, but still determined to stand with and comfort its lover.

We eventually grew so impressed with our geese — they had virtually become family friends — that we gave the remaining ones to a local park.

(Kristof, Nicholas D.  "A Farm Boy Reflects."  The New York Times  31 July 2008: Opinion.  3 Aug 2008.)

 
Read the full article here.

When Robert Wilson comes home each day, this is what takes place.

Kinda gives a different perspective to smoked duck, doesn't it?

Saturday, August 02, 2008

SuperPoke





500 mg Rocephine.

Thanks, babe.

Sigh.

Lie back and think of England



Well, in this case, Singapore — which is just as well, since the standard of English Engrish practiced here is so abysmal revolting that it renders Ipecac mild.


Put mums in parade

It is time that we take a radical approach in encouraging women to have babies.

Just as we view national service as vital for our security and survival, it is time we regard raising the birthrate as being vital for our future security and survival. Giving birth should be seen as a national service.

We must thus accept and expect our female citizens to have children and reward and recognise their effort, and the companies that release their staff for this important national service.

A woman going on maternity leave should not be viewed as just taking personal time away from work but should also be viewed as doing her part for the country.

Mothers should be represented at the National Day Parade in recognition of their contributions to the nation. They should be held up as a new pillar of Total Defence.


Sng Choon Kwee
         (Sng, Choon Kwee.  Letter.  The Straits Times.  2 August 2008.)


The sentiments expressed in the letter above were so over the top that, for a moment, I suspected the writer penned a parody (or engaged in flamebaiting), but a check with a previous letter under the same name discounted the notion.



Offer tax relief and allowance for stay-at-home mothers

I applaud the Government for reiterating that Singaporeans still form the core of this country and for coming up with new pro-family measures to raise the birth rate.

It is time the Government recognised the contribution of stay-at-home mothers who quit their jobs to raise children in their formative years. Families with a stay-at-home mum sacrifice one income so children can have the mother as their primary caregiver.

It is time the nation acknowledged and affirmed the contribution of stay-at-home mums to nation-building as they give birth and nurture the next Singaporean generation. I propose that husbands of stay-at-home mums be given a greater income tax relief. Stay-at-home mums with no income should also be given a monthly allowance of $400 for three years after the birth of their child, with the condition that household income does not exceed $5,000 a month. This will greatly help families with stay-at-home mums.

Sng Choon Kwee
         (Sng, Choon Kwee.  Letter.  The Straits Times.  24 July 2008.)


Might Mr. Sng be ignorant of the fact that his well-thumbed copy of Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale is firmly ensconced within the genre of science fiction, and not pornography?

I think the following (staged) video illustrates the situation best:




Subtext operating in both letters (and the current environment):

         Everybody has got their price.

Not everyone is like Lance, Mr. Sng.


The planet is fine! The people are fucked!
         (George Carlin)

Friday, August 01, 2008

Myers-Briggs Personality Test II



Interesting how the passage of 21 months changed my results:


E=7 Extraversion
I=4 Introversion
S=3 Sensing
N=17 iNtuition
T=16 Thinking
F=3 Feeling
J=7 Judging
P=12 Perceiving
You are an ENTP.

Population breakdown in the US population:
3.2% are ENTP


ENTP - Entrepeneurs, lawyers, psychologists, photographers, consultants, sales represenatives, actors, engineers, scientists, inventors, marketers, computer programmers, comedians, computer analysts, credit investigators, journalists, psychiatrists, public relations, designers, writers, artists, musicians, politicians. Very freedom-oriented, they need a career which allows them to act independent and express their creativity and insight.


They may have a perverse sense of humor and sometimes play devil's advocate, which can create misunderstandings with friends, coworkers, and family.
         (Source)


Profile

ENTPs are known for their quest of the novel and complex. They have faith in their ability to improvise and to overcome any challenges that they face. They are highly independent, and value adaptability and innovation. They may be several steps ahead of others in encouraging and valuing change. They hate uninspired routine and resist hierarchical and bureaucratic structures that are not functional. They need freedom for action.

Living

ENTPs are lively children who question established truths and norms, dream and scheme, and develop unusual ways of doing traditional childhood things. The ENTP child is oriented toward doing the unique, which may mean taking risks and outwitting parental, school, and societal authority. They enjoy creating projects and following interests that are unusual and different. ENTP children enjoy inventing new toys, dances, and languages. Because they are outgoing in their personality style, they often engage other children in their projects and assign them particular roles to play. ENTPs rarely accept things just as they are. They like to test or explore to see new meanings and relationships. When things do not go as they want, they use their ingenuity and cleverness to bring people and situations around to their point of view. As young adults, when ENTPs choose a career for themselves, they tend to set flexible goals that allow them to incorporate new information and accommodate to new circumstances when they come along. It is hard for ENTPs not to be able to explore the road not taken. Their byword is keep your options open. Sometimes this flexibility can look like indecision to outsiders. As adults, ENTPs take advantage of opportunities. Because of their ability to see relationships and connections between seemingly unrelated things, they are able to realize the potential in many things. When they see and opportunity that others have missed, they set action-oriented strategies that allow them the greatest flexibility to achieve the results they want. The worst job for them is working for someone who demands considerable rule following or tries too often to tell or order, rather than make suggestions to the ENTP. Throughout their careers, ENTPs want their work to be enjoyable, with interesting possibilities for applications. Additionally, having their work widely acclaimed and accepted as a unique contribution would be highly gratifying for ENTPs. They also weave in vacations whenever possible and want a flexible work schedule.

Learning and

Working

ENTPs are relentless learners. When the subject matter interests them, they are able to find meaning in whatever they are studying. Knowledge is important to them, but they may not feel the need to show this to their teachers and therefore may be somewhat lackadaisical about assignments and tests. ENTPs use their enthusiasm and energy to get others involved in their learning. They learn through give-and-take discussions and by questioning and challenging others. They are quick, verbal, and logical, preferring to use their skills in interactions with others. ENTPs look at the logical foundations in others' thinking and build on them to develop their own conceptual systems. They want to be taught concepts rather then facts. Models are important to them. They typically absorb their teacher's material and present it in a framework that ties all of the elements together. They like to challenge their teachers and classmates and enjoy competitive learning tasks through which they can show their conceptual versatility. They may also enjoy independent study in which they can pursue and area of interest. ENTPs contribute and innovative, versatile, and enterprising approach to work. They view limitations as challenges to be overcome and look for new ways to do things. They need to find a niche for themselves in order to be free to maneuver. They prefer the start-up phase of a project rather than the followthrough or maintenance phase. Once the project is designed, they prefer to turn it over to someone else. They take initiative and inspire others toward greater accomplishments and challenges. ENTPs usually find work that involves an analytical, entrepreneurial, and creative focus. They tend to tolerate ambiguity well. They want to be in situations in which they can take intellectual risks and meet challenges. To perform in their best fashion, they prefer flexibility and versatility. While they like status and titles, they ultimately want to be judged on their innovative accomplishments. They take advantage of changing circumstances and work those circumstances into their plans. As a result, they function effectively in chaotic times. Some occupations seem to be more appealing to ENTPs: actor, chemical engineer, computer analyst, credit investigator, journalist, marketeer, photographer, psychiatrist, public relations worker, sales agent, and other occupations that allow them to be innovative.

Loving

For the ENTP, falling in love occurs when they feel that there is a good fit with the other person. Often within the first meeting, ENTPs will know whether the relationship has any real potential. ENTPs may find it difficult to commit to anyone until the right person comes along. During this period, ENTPs explore the closeness until they can be certain that they have looked at all of the possibilities. Because of this, they are not likely to settle down early. When they do become involved in a relationship, they generally want to maintain as much independence and freedom as their loved one can tolerate. Their mates may need to have high self-esteem and to be independent themselves in order to accept the ENTP need for freedom and novelty. For ENTPs, falling out of love, which may not always occur, results when their vision of the relationship does not square with reality. Sometimes they will select someone who offers stability and comfort and ENTPs later will become bored with the stability. When scorned, ENTPs use their powerful and broadreaching analysis to explain the reasons why the relationship was not good in the first place; additionally, they may become competitive with their former partner and work hard to win. ENTPs do not like to lose at anything they undertake.

Profile by David Keirsey

ENTP's wish to exercise their ingenuity in the world of people and things. Found in about five out of every hundred people, ENTP's extravert intuition; thus they deal imaginatively with social relationships as well as physical and mechanical relations. They are very alert to what is apt to occur next, and always sensitive to possibilities. ENTP's are good at analysis, especially functional analysis, and have both a tolerance for and enjoyment of the complex. Usually enthusiastic, ENTP's are apt to express interest in everything, and thus are a source of inspiration to others, who find themselves caught up by the ENTP's enthusiasm. This type is delighted over many things and so is easy to please, often showing the effervescence of their NF counterpart, the ENFP. The ENTP is the most reluctant of all the types to do things in a particular manner just because that is the way things always have been done. They characteristically have an eye out for a better way, always on the lookout for new projects, new activities, new procedures. ENTP's are confident in the value of their pursuits and display a charming capacity to ignore the standard, the traditional, and the authoritative. As a result of this open attitude, they often bring a fresh, new approach to their work and their lives. The ENTP is a keen judge of the pragmatics of both the social and the mechanical, and may become expert at directing relationships between means and ends. Where the introverted NTP sees design as an end in itself, the extraverted NTP sees design as a means; the end is the invention that works, the prototype that is replicable. Ideas are valuable when and only when they make possible actions and objects. "It can't be done" is a challenge to an ENTP and elicits a reaction of "I can do it." They are not, however, the movers of mountains as are the INTJ's. Rather, the faith of the ENTP's is in their ability to improvise something, and they display an unusual talent for rising to the expediency of a situation. Superficially, ENTP's resemble ESTP's in their derringdo. But the focus of the ENTP is on the competency and the sense of power this gives, rather than on the feeling of freedom of action experienced by the ESTP. ENTP's can be fascinating conversationalists, able as they are to follow the complex verbalizations of others. They may deliberately employ debate tactics to the disadvantage of their opponents, even when the "opponents" are close associates and valued friends. ENTP's are the most able of all types to maintain a one-up position with others. They value adaptability and innovation and thus respond quickly and adeptly to another's shifting position. They may even be several jumps ahead. The ENTP, talkative and motivating, is often the life of an enterprise. The ENTP can be an entrepreneur and cleverly makes do with whatever or whoever is at hand, counting on ingenuity to solve problems as they arise, rather than carefully generating a detailed blueprint in advance. A rough draft is all that an ENTP needs to feel confident and ready to proceed into action, counting on the ability to improvise as a situation develops. Because of this tendency to depend on ingenuity and improvision, they may neglect very necessary preparation at times. After repeated failures in situations where improvising has met with defeat, the ENTP may develop ways of avoiding such situations as a substitute to thorough preparation.

Career

ENTP's can succeed in a variety of occupations, as long as the job does not involve too much humdrum routine. At this point, they become restless. If a project in which they are engaged is no longer challenging, they tend to lose interest in that project and fail to follow through-often to the discomfort of colleagues. Seldom are ENTP's conformists. ENTP's enjoy outwitting the system and use rules and regulations within the system to win the game-whatever it may be. They understand well the politics of institutions and deal with these realities very well, always aiming to understand the people within the system rather than to judge them. ENTP's are good at innovative projects and can administer them well if dull routine is not involved. They usually are outstanding teachers, continuously devising new participative ways to make learning exciting for the students. As an employee, an ENTP may work against the system just for the joy of being one-up. For ENTP's, to be taken-in, to be manipulated by another, is humiliating; this offends their joy in being masters of the art of one-upmanship. ENTP's are the natural engineers of human relationships and human systems. Their good humor and optimistic outlook tend to be contagious, and people seek out their company.

Home

As mates, ENTP's tend to create a lively living environment. They are gregarious, laugh easily and often, and are typically in good humor. Orderliness in the routines of daily living is not apt to inspire them; they usually solve this problem by mobilizing those around them. Tom Sawyer illustrated this talent when he solved the problem of getting Aunt Polly's fence whitewashed. Life with ENTP's is likely to be a daring adventure; they can lead families to physical and economic dangers. ENTP's improvise to remain unaware that they do not have the necessary knowledge of the situation to ward off such dangers. If the mate of an ENTP is not competitive, he or she is likely to find the one-up/one-down transactions somewhat wearing. If the mate is competitive, the result might be conflict. Although usually good providers of economic necessities, ENTP's at times engage in brinkmanship with their careers, placing them in jeopardy and behaving as if unaware of the consequences; they may thus offer unnecessary challenges to those who have power over their professional success. When challenges elicit negative responses from superiors, ENTP's are apt to react with delight at having an opportunity to improvise a solution to the crisis and, more often than not, they succeed in doing so. ENTP's are likely to have all sorts of hobbies and to be experts in unexpected areas, but they are not apt to share these hobbies with their mates or children in the sense of teaching them. In fact, ENTP's may be very inconsistent in the attention given to offspring. Usually, it is feast or famine. ENTP's have a lively circle of friends and are interested in their ideas and activities. They are usually easy-going, seldom critical or nagging. At their worst, they can show undependable, fickle characteristics and may be rather easily discouraged.

Midlife

At midlife ENTP's can allow their tendency to experiment recklessly to get out of hand and may destroy or discard the work of half a lifetime, both in personal relationships and in careers. Energy spent in sorting out priorities and values may be a good investment at this time. Developing an increased awareness of emotional reactions and expanding the intensity and range of these through self-development work may be something ENTP's might want to consider at midlife. An increased repertoire of introverted-type activities; for example, gardening, painting, or reading may be a source of pleasure to ENTP's.

Mates

The inventive ENTP finds in the ISFJ a neat complementarily for his enterprise, for in the ISFJ he finds the supreme conservator. The conservator, broadly conceived, is morally bound to ensure the material and legal welfare of his or her charge. The inventor, also broadly conceived, is bent on replacing whatever tools, operation, or enterprise now exists with a better one. Out to exercise his ingenuity in bettering things, the ENTP is of necessity iconoclastic and tends to be so seen. So he can get into a bit of trouble with the elders, who usually are not all that pleased to see their tried-and-true tools, operations, and enterprises blithely set aside for the ENTP's better mousetrap. The ISFJ, mated to this inventive rascal, takes on the task of squaring things with the establishment. The ENTP also may be attracted to his opposite on the N side: he approaches the INFJ. But the INFJ is humorously and preposterously different from the seemingly similar ISFJ. In the INFJ lies the soul of the "author"-the meaning-giver, the mystic, the oracle. Perhaps the INFJ is a conservator of the soul, a sort of messiah. At any rate, there is something about the "author" (very broadly conceived) which the ENTP covets. Prometheus had to pay dearly for giving fire to man. The Promethian ENTP may figure that, though his INFJ mate may not rescue his body from the vultures, at least the INFJ might rescue his soul from Hell.


I think my family, friends, lovers, enemies, and... erm... victims can attest to the veracity of these profiles  :-P

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